Does any of the following statements sound like something you have said to yourself?
“Wow, I haven’t had anything to eat all day.”
“I will use the restroom as soon as I get some time.”
“I won’t stop to see my friend after work, I have to get home and get dinner ready.”
If these are often the kind of statements you speak to yourself, chances are, you neglect your own self-care, and you have a hard time putting yourself first without feeling guilty.
Why do we as women do that? Let’s discuss the why behind the guilt and practice flexing our self-care muscles so that our mental health is first in our own lives.
Here are three things you can implement right now to strengthen your self-care practices:
Get to the root of what causes you to feel guilty about putting yourself first.
Often, the guilt of putting ourselves first is a trauma response. Individuals who spent a lot of their childhood caring for a sick parent or taking care of the home and siblings learn to ignore their own needs. Eventually silencing your own needs lead us to believe that we are not worthy of being a priority and we make it a pattern of putting others before ourselves. So what has caused you to feel that you aren’t worthy of being cared for?
Set boundaries…..Uh-oh the B word!
If it is not a full body yes, then it should be a no. This simply means to do a self-evaluation about the things you agree to do, as well as all the things you feel you must do. Just because you are physically able to do something does not mean you are happy about doing it. It is okay to find a workaround for tasks that will not alter anyone’s life. For example, that dinner you rush home to cook, that is keeping you from a long bath and a 1-hour coffee date with your good friend after work; make it a take-out meal once a month.
Just do it!
So what do you do before you have figured out the root cause of your self-care guilt and while you are learning to set healthy boundaries? Pick one non-negotiables concerning your self-care and stick to it. Make it something as simple as demanding your lunch hour at work be undisturbed. Take that time to breathe, watch a funny YouTube video, eat, and by all means……go pee!